Apologies in advance for this little rant …

In the Benalmadena marina, hundreds of people wash through, psyched I suppose to be in Spain. But the level of garish kitchy crap is amazing.

People stand on the walk to sell you their watches or dolphin extravaganzas or blingy jewelry or baubles or overpriced weakass drinks.

“Oh my gosh, I love Spain! I got Tex Mex and played putt putt.”

It just reminds me of the opening song from that series, Weeds (read it below to that tune if you know it):

Little stores all on the sidewalk,

little stores all full of ticky tacky

little stores all on the sidewalk

and they all look just the same.

There is perfume

and there's trinkets

and there's Tshirts and a Benihana,

and their all there on the side walk

and it all looks just the same.

Oh, because it wasn't tacky enough there is Triton and some nudie maiden doing a smelfie. Perfect. You know, keepin it classy.

The great thing is that you can't go 12 feet without someone putting a gelato stand in your way because gawd I'm just winded tryin’ to make it from from the Gringos down to the Burger Barn or whatever.

Okay, rant done.

We are on a side trip to Turkey, but when we get back, we'll head off in search a more authentic experience doesn't make me want to throw up as well.